I asked about getting a 2nd opinion because it seems like we are running out of options. She said yes we are running out of options and she is more then happy for me to get a 2nd opinion but most of the time the doctors will give me false hope about options without looking at all the issues that pertains to my WBC or RBC so to take all information with a grain of salt. It was nice that my doctor said she is proud of me and that she see's how strong I am.
My Mom told me that she had to work at the Temple on Tuesday so when she picked me up for chemo and then just dropped me off and left because she could not wait. So at the end of my appointment while the nurses were disconnecting me from chemo and I was waiting for Amy to come get me Dad called me and asked why Mom had to drive 1 hour round trip to take me when a neighbor or ward member or my sister could just take me and pick me up because they are so much closer. in addition since the ward members already bring us dinner this week which is hard why cant they take me to chemo.
He is right it is quicker for a neighbor or someone in PG to take me but I would hope that my mother would want to spend time with her sick child 2 times every 3-4 weeks during chemo but I guess not. The huge argument in December about me being hurt because my mother had not spent anytime with me since August and me crying and her saying how sorry she was because she didn't know how I felt about it didn't actually make a difference because she got out of taking me again. Every time I told her about my appointments she complained because she would have to miss walking with her friend in the morning on those days. She said she changed the day she worked at the temple to Wednesday so she could take me to chemo on Monday and Tuesday and the first Tuesday she had it changed and I told her about my appointment she told me she could not take me because she was walking with Sandra and only took me the last 2 times twice. The last 3 times I have been delayed because of my WBC and RBC and she made comments about missing walking with her friend for no reason.
It just breaks my heart that my mother seems like she could give a crap less about me especially when it interrupts he day unless she gets some of the food stamp money I owe her. I'm sure she will complain in a few months that she is not getting her food stamp money because she will not be around me except on Sundays when we go to there house or to Amy's house, like she did in December.
I guess I am just mad and hurt because it took less then 4 months to get out of taking me to chemo again and she didn't even do it herself she got my dad to do it.
I was talking to my dad about when I get sick enough that I was thinking about talking to Erik about living with them the last few months so it would be an easier transition to living wit them and he acted like I was crazy for even brining it up because my kids will be fine when I die and trying to do anything to help them in anyway was just crazy. I also said that at some point I will most likely not be able to take care of myself or my kids and I will have to move somewhere and he again acted like I was crazy for even brining it up because there is no reason that I wont be able to take care of myself. So I guess that I will talk to Erik and Rebekah about it when time gets closer to see what they think about it.
Next week I will turn in the letters to the judge and hopefully he will take Mike's parental rights away and there will not be anymore problems with all of that!! I prey that all of it will work out so Erik can get custody of my kids because no amount of preying will keep me alive for 9 more years!
Well off to bed because I feel so sick I cant function anymore!!
No comments:
Post a Comment